Cruise Entertainment

As you know, loyal fans, our favorite entertainment aboard the ship is dishing on our fellow travellers. For those that prefer the cruise-line provided entertainment such as the giggly-jello-bummed Helvis, I provide the following review of the acts we have been following.

Last night we had an Israeli comedian, Yocov Noy. Because the audience is so multicultural finding a common language for comedy is nearly impossible. Much of Yucov's act uses physical comedy without words. He mimes various daily activities such as a woman getting ready for a party. As he performed his act I wispered into Mike's ear what the actions represented...after all how is my husband supposed to recognize shaving your legs, putting on pantyhouse, spraying hairspray or pumping a mascara tube before putting it on? Those are retired routines that went the way of paychecks five years ago. Yucov was very entertaining. I especially enjoyed the portion of his act in which he squeezes past the other airplane passengers in his row to fumble his way to the bathroom, do his thing as the plane dips and bumps, then clean up the seat, floor walls and ceiling with make-believe toilet paper before wending his way back to his seat. Very funny....what man ever cleans the bathroom?

Our previous night we saw a Chilean born flutist trained at Julliard who currently lives in our old hometown of 5,000 people, Half Moon Bay, California. She brought about ten flutes from around the world out onto the stage and played beautiful music from around the world.

We tried attending an educational lecture today. Some dufus with what appeared to be rigorous credentials (he told us during his rambles that he is a former fitness trainer and has one year of grade school teaching) provided a lecture on the US healthcare system. Thankfully most of the audience was not American, as the entire lecture was drafted with the sure-fire approach to piss off every single American aboard. For those that were not American, he assured them that our health system was the most expensive, least productive, most crooked enterprise ever invented and when combined with the demonic FDA, most Americans were destined to be poisoned by bad drugs and bad food on top of our choice to be the laziest and most obese people in the history of evolution. No matter where you stand on Obamacare, his lecture had enough in it that you were sure to walk out annoyed. Thankfully we were sitting near the back (having forecasted a boring time) so Mike's outbursts of anger were only noticable to the scattered people in the back twenty rows or so. So much for education at seas! We have heard interesting lectures in the past about the geography and history of where we were (previous South American cruise) or the first OJ trial by some of the attorneys involved, but this one did not come close. Apparently this imposter does this for a living now, referencing the fact that he lives aboard ships now. OMG avoid him if you have a chance.

As I started writing this, it was approaching noon, and the captain is currently on the public address system advising us to once again turn our clocks forward an hour. He says that apparently changing you watches at noon is less intrusive to your body clock then doing at night so we are avoiding jet lag. Of course, based on the sleeping Handrons track record, we seem to be doing fine with jet lag. This morning, to train our bodies to get up on time so as not to miss tomorrow and the next day's shore excursions at 8:15, we got out of bed at 8:00. I can feel a nap coming soon.

Love you all,
Deanne and Mike