Madeira- like Tenerife but Portuguese

We spent the day today touring Madeira, an island very similiar to yesterday's visit to the Canary Islands. They share volcanic origin, so both islands are mountainous, with the towns built on the slopes of jagged mountains and the hillsides terraced for planting of crops. Both island economies are built around tourism, with 70% of the income derived from visitors, and the islands look prosperous. If you remember the news from several months back, Madeira had a rugged winter, with horrible flooding. The North side of the island is the wet side, and for five hundred years a system of aquaducts has carried the water to the dryer, more inhabited part of the island. That system was overwhelmed during the torrential rains and the canals through the largest city, Funchal were overflowing into the city streets. Homes built on hillsides slid off, trees were uprooted, it was apparently a mess. It has been cleaned up quickly and we only have their word on the horror they experienced during the storms.

Our buddies from yesterday's cruise, the three beautiful black ladies (about my age) and the single man they travel with (the husband of one of them). I am not sure how the kidding started, but we have had an ongoing roll over laughing relationship, mostly centered around the compliments Mike pays the guy for being surrounded by these dolled up women. I think it may have started when we shared an elevator and Mike looked around and told the gent that he was very impressed with him, his hero. Passing him in the Windjammer was soon after, looking to see what he was eating (hero food), etc. So, for two days in a row we have entertained ourselves with jokes back and forth. From LA, this group is fun and we have enjoyed our laughs together.

The only other dull boring factoid of our day to share is the broken pipe in our hallway that caused a flood. We walked out of our door yesterday to soak to our knees in water. We reported in promptly, and our cabin guy told us today that it was a broken pipe. They had fans going immediately, but now we walk out our door to a retched wet carpet smell. That's our day!

Deanne

Second post of the Day

At almost 40 cents per minute for internet, I have a routine that minimizes the time I am on-line. First, I write the blog entry of the day off-line. Then I quickly get on-line, set Mike's e-mail to download, up-load the blog entry I just wrote off-line, check to see if anyone left us blog comments which I open into spearate pages, check my own webmail, then log off. Today that took me 9 minutes on-line, or $3.78. It took over an hour to do though.

The disadvantage to doing it this way is that I am already off-line when I settle back to read the crazy and wonderful comments you have left for me. Too late to respond. But, Susan asked a legitimate question.... what do the other cruisers think of us? So, to answer her properly I am writing the second blog entry of the day.

How to answer:

• I could tell you how the Israeli comedian described Americans in his mime skit about watching all of us at the mid-night buffet. If you remember back, that is the night Mike and I danced but did not partake of the buffet, so his mockery didn't hurt personally, although it did ring a bell. He started his skit by telling us that he camped out next to the buffet the night before and watched us. The French saunter up to the buffet with their noses in the air and look at the offerings with disdain and walk away without taking anything. The Germans walk back and forth several times analyzing their choices before circling back and taking several. The Brazilains (he was pandering to his audience) rumba past the buffet laughing and having a good time, while the Americans camp in front of the table and take four or five of each loading up their plate good and high. That is one perspective.
• The staff on the ship, who know how to win friends and encourage tips, like the Americans. Many of them live substantially on their tips with little base pay. Roderick tells us that the Brazilian passengers are forced to tip by the cruise-line, with an automatic billing for tips at the time of booking the cruise. He said the Europeans are notorious for not tipping, as they don't trypically do it in their home countries and don't seem to know or care that it is the standard on ships. Only the Americans understand the system and share their largesse with the crew at the recommended tip levels. Of course, after Roderick explained all of this he earned a little extra in this enveolpe from the magnanomous Handrons.
• The Brazilian passengers seem to like us. Maybe it is just politeness that leads the Grandma and Grandpa to stop at our table every night upon their late arrival at dinner for a very polite "Bom Noite", of good evening. We, of course, follow suit, with a stop at their table (we sit side by side afterall) each evening for another round of "Bom Noites". It could be the sheer size of his grief that caused the Brazilain with the lost camera (see my earlier entry) to spend two elevator cycles (press the button, wait, doors open, they close because you are still listening to the moans) telling us of his loss, but I like to think of it as his reocgnition of our humanity.
• Brazilian crew members enjoy us. We order wine each night, but never cocktails. Nevertheless, Carol, the Brazialian cocktail waitress spends time with us everynight as she circulates the floor. No chance we are going to tip someone for visiting us, but still she comes by. In fact, when she was in Rio earlier in the trip he Dad visited her with a box of her favorite candies. She brought some to us a few days later so that we could try them. Plus, if that doesn't prove kinship, she also compliments us daily on our barely improving Portuguese. She quizes us with toughies such as, "Todo Bem?", the informal way to ask "what's up?". Fortunately for us, the answer only needs to be "Todo bem", "it goes okay" which isn't that hard to parrot back to her without the question mark. Most days we do our hour or two of computer work in the coffee lounge (they serve Seattle's Best Coffee here on board!!) with a cool Brazilian barista. She is also working on our Portuguese. But, she gets tips.
• Other Americans seem to enjoy our company. As a minority, we have learned to spot each other now and a quick peak at each other now and again confirms the brotherhood of shared minority status.

So, all in all, I think they like us. THEY REALLY LIKE US!

Love, me

Tenerife - were only 180 miles from Africa!

We hit land again today, and after six days everyone on board is bit giddy with excitement. So, you have to put up with/ or you get treated to a travelogue today, depending upon your point of view. Mike and I took our first formal excursion today and what a pleasant surprise. On previous trips we have detested the mad and messy gathering in the theater to trade your tour tickets for tour stickers, then lining up and following the activities staffer through the underbelly of the ship to make your way out on to the crowded dock and stuffed bus. Imagine how nice it was to show up 15 minutes prior to our tour departure time and find a very short line of five or six people and a small crowd sitting orderly around their tour numbers which were set up in various locations throughout the theater. All we could guess was that the orderly Germans and Americans had arrived early to organize as instructed, and after the designated times, the always late Brazilians, 70% of our group, would arrive late (like they do for dinner) and screw up our departure. We were half way correct. The people in the theater were largely American, German and Australian, but the Brazilians did not sign up for the shore excursions. Instead, they seem to have found their own way into town. One distraught man we saw after the ship left the harbor after our day in Tenerife was mourning the loss of his photos which he had accidentally left (along with the camera housing them) in a cab that he took to the car rental office. So, I guess the Brazilians are more independent in their travels and opt for advanced shore excursions rather than Shore Excursion 101- "plant your butt on bus and go where it takes you." Our bus was only a third full, so we had a nice, relaxed tour of the island.

Tenerife is the largest of the Canary Islands off the coast of Africa. While attacked and/or conquered by almost all of the big European nations, Spain was the winner. Now an independent territory of Spain with their own president, the islanders speak Spanish with a Castilian accent, which sounds as if they are lisping compared to the Spanish we learn in school. 80% of the economy in the Canary islands is based on tourism and the remainder is largely agricultural, so many of the population are multi-lingual making it easy to navigate with English/ Spanglish.

After our four hour tour of the island during which we saw the banana plantations (the largest crop), the extinct volcano marking the highest point in spain (12,000 feet), an ancient monastary now serving as a restaurant where we had coffee and pastry (just what we needed after 11 days on board!) and the waterfront. All in all, it is clean and safe and a nice vacation spot for the Europeans that flock here to beat the winter weather (the Northerners such as the Scandinavians) and the summer heat (the Spaniards and Italians). The climate is apparently great here year around, and if today is representative, I would agree. It was shirt sleeve comfortable today.

Most everything we saw is modern and clean. Apparently the Canarians (I did not invent that name, that is what they call themselves) have as much regard for their old buildings as we do. I visited an old church, but everything around it was modern. The aboriginal people here are notable for being blond and blue eyed, living in caves, having no written language and mummifying their dead. Sound like a cool group of people. I guess their homes didn't survive being conquered. They didn't survive it either.

I know we raved about dinners those first few days, but in order to spare you the whining we have been doing ever since, we have left out those days with horrible meals. Last night, as we dined alone with Roderick (the Brazilians didn't show until we were almost done so we had him to ourselves) we were greeted with something you don't often experience. As he handed us the menus he apologized and said that it was a bad day for eating. They were trying their hand at a Russian menu- a Russian hard boiled egg was the appetizer Roderick recommended. He advised skipping the Latvian soup, etc. Main courses such as chicken kiev (breaded then fired, two wonderful healthy ways to serve chicken combined! OMG) were the best of the lot. We ended up selecting the pasta marinera (Mike) and the grilled chicken breast (me) from the everyday menu. Roderick did offer to bring us cheese pizza from the kid's menu.

Entertainment has been pretty good, although tonight is the second night in which the big entertainment of the night is a movie. The first movie was described to be a Brazilian movie (in Portuguese) with English subtitles about some period in their history. In the beginning fifteen minutes it showed some queen in Spain marrying some king in some other country. Neither of them spoke Portuguese, so to help their primary audience, the subtitles from Spanish or whatever language it was in, translated the verbal dialog into poruguese. Apparently sometime into the movie when the queen and king were married and moved to Brazil they must have learned Portuguese and the subtiltes switched to English, but by then we were back in our room grumbling. Tonight's flick Tango, is supposed to have English subtitles. But, because they are only showing it once to both seatings it doesn't start until 10:30. Forget it. We had to get up at 7:00 am today for our shore trip, and again tomorrow to see Madeira, Portugal, so there is no way we are going to try and figure out subtitles tonight!

Love you all, Deanne

Cruise Entertainment

As you know, loyal fans, our favorite entertainment aboard the ship is dishing on our fellow travellers. For those that prefer the cruise-line provided entertainment such as the giggly-jello-bummed Helvis, I provide the following review of the acts we have been following.

Last night we had an Israeli comedian, Yocov Noy. Because the audience is so multicultural finding a common language for comedy is nearly impossible. Much of Yucov's act uses physical comedy without words. He mimes various daily activities such as a woman getting ready for a party. As he performed his act I wispered into Mike's ear what the actions represented...after all how is my husband supposed to recognize shaving your legs, putting on pantyhouse, spraying hairspray or pumping a mascara tube before putting it on? Those are retired routines that went the way of paychecks five years ago. Yucov was very entertaining. I especially enjoyed the portion of his act in which he squeezes past the other airplane passengers in his row to fumble his way to the bathroom, do his thing as the plane dips and bumps, then clean up the seat, floor walls and ceiling with make-believe toilet paper before wending his way back to his seat. Very funny....what man ever cleans the bathroom?

Our previous night we saw a Chilean born flutist trained at Julliard who currently lives in our old hometown of 5,000 people, Half Moon Bay, California. She brought about ten flutes from around the world out onto the stage and played beautiful music from around the world.

We tried attending an educational lecture today. Some dufus with what appeared to be rigorous credentials (he told us during his rambles that he is a former fitness trainer and has one year of grade school teaching) provided a lecture on the US healthcare system. Thankfully most of the audience was not American, as the entire lecture was drafted with the sure-fire approach to piss off every single American aboard. For those that were not American, he assured them that our health system was the most expensive, least productive, most crooked enterprise ever invented and when combined with the demonic FDA, most Americans were destined to be poisoned by bad drugs and bad food on top of our choice to be the laziest and most obese people in the history of evolution. No matter where you stand on Obamacare, his lecture had enough in it that you were sure to walk out annoyed. Thankfully we were sitting near the back (having forecasted a boring time) so Mike's outbursts of anger were only noticable to the scattered people in the back twenty rows or so. So much for education at seas! We have heard interesting lectures in the past about the geography and history of where we were (previous South American cruise) or the first OJ trial by some of the attorneys involved, but this one did not come close. Apparently this imposter does this for a living now, referencing the fact that he lives aboard ships now. OMG avoid him if you have a chance.

As I started writing this, it was approaching noon, and the captain is currently on the public address system advising us to once again turn our clocks forward an hour. He says that apparently changing you watches at noon is less intrusive to your body clock then doing at night so we are avoiding jet lag. Of course, based on the sleeping Handrons track record, we seem to be doing fine with jet lag. This morning, to train our bodies to get up on time so as not to miss tomorrow and the next day's shore excursions at 8:15, we got out of bed at 8:00. I can feel a nap coming soon.

Love you all,
Deanne and Mike

Politics and Religion

Americans are so polite with strangers or new acquaintances. We don't discuss politics or religion. Everyone else loves to discuss politics though. Especially American politics. For example, yesterday as we were lounging on the pool deck in the shade, a tall older man came and towered over me to introduce himself as a citizen of a "horrible"(to Americans) socialized country, Sweden. Then, he asked us about healthcare. He wanted to know, as others on the ship have inquired previously, what the hold up was in the US about passing health care reform. He wanted specifics about our own insurance situation and what we felt about the new legislation. He was a retired Swedish university professor (researcher in Humanistics) that had lived for a year in Palo Alto while working at Stanford. He currently lives in France where his European union card is sufficient to get him free healthcare at great clinics and hospitals and his pension is not taxed (as it would be in Sweden). He would prefer to live in the US again, but he would have to pay taxes on his pension and pay an extravagant (his words) premium on health insurance, neither of which he can afford on his pension. A discussion on health care led to a discussion about Obama, then as it frequently does, the conversation rolls on into immigration and other issues facing wealthy nations. We could discuss these things constantly if we wanted, as there is no end to the number of people interested in American politics. So, topics we would not discuss with strangers in the US out of politeness and would only discuss with people that we knew to be like-minded, are fair game for multinational conversations.

Religion does not come up often on these trips, although yesterday's brunch was an exception. We were seated at a full table, alongside a slobby (i.e. food dribbling down his chin) single man dressed in a pressed shirt with a huge pattern with a musical motif. Think John Malkovitch with a double chin covered in egg yolk droppings. Across from us was a cheerful couple about our age dressed as if they were headed out to the golf course. Turns out they are retirees from Rotterdam in the Netherlands who winter in Curacao, the Dutch island in the Carribbean. They were returning home via ship at the end of their island stay. Finally, there were two couples traveling together from Israel. An English speaking table! The single man, a grouchy curmudgen was telling us about all of his cruise experience, with complaints about how single people are treated, breakfast service, the fact that he had to summon the head waiter to get orange juice (only guava and passionfruit were offered this morning), and so on...... We were all talking about trips we had made to each other's countries (the Israelis win the contest for best traveled hands-down.... they knew where we all lived and had stories to prove it). Someone in the Israeli camp made a comment about one of the two women being a Jewish mother. I laughed and said that I understood, I had a Jewish mother too. Then, assuming I wasn't too smart about these things, they went on to explain that I was therefore a jewish mother also. Mike, in the meantime is nudging me to be quiet before I get in a discussion that I can't handle. One question about jewish holidays or hanging out at the temple and I am a gonner. I was sure though, that I could explain my situation if pressed: that my jewish mother has two jewish daughters (my sisters) and two non-jewish daughters (Susan and me) and that if I explained furthermore that we had two jewish brothers, one of whom we acknowledge and the other, well.... By then I am sure I would have lost them totally.

Aside from heated discussions about politics and religion, we are experiencing a "cool down". The tropical weather that we had in Brazil and that has followed us across the Equator has abated and we are now surrounded in cool fog. We are loving it. It may still be frizzy-hair-producing, but it isn't hot!

Love you lots,
Deanne

OTB @ SEA

I bet you think this is going to be about those stupid horseracing contests they have poolside in which you bet on and root for a wooden horse to win the race. But, guess again.

We have a much better betting system going here aboard the Splendour of the Seas (fondly referred to by us locals as SOS). Mike and our waiter, Roderick bet each night about what time the Brazilians that sit at the large table along side us will arrive. Near as we can figure after a week of sitting beside them there is Grandma and Grandpa who arrive first each night, dressed in their finest. They are short in stature but big in heart, stopping each night on their way in to wish us "Bom Noit" or good evening. Sometime later the next group to arrive at their table is a thrityish woman and one yer old son, Romeo, although pronounced Homio. (That took us awhile to figure out, but someone explained to us why they kept calling the little dude Homeo, a name we couldn't fathom). Most nights she is accompanied by a man we assume to be her husband, who always sits beside Grandma and is the spitting image of the old lady minus twenty-five years and adding about half a foot to her petite little stature. We have always assumed he was her son and the woman and child were his family. Finally, always last to the table, sometimes by even an hour or so, another Grandma aged woman and a younger version of her. These two we have wagered were the mother and sister of Homeo's mother. With me so far?

They sit at a table for ten, but it is only the seven of them. Given that Brazilians do not eat at the horrid hour of 7:00 PM this group had to have it explained the first few nights that 7:00 meant 7:00, and if they could not arrive on time their meal selection would be limited to entree and dessert. Well, from then on it has been a running bet between Roderick and Mike about what time they would arrive to dinner.

Take for instance tonight. We arrived fashionably late at 7:10 to find Roderick working the dining room door, greeting guests as they arrived and making sure they knew where they were going. When we showed up (his first guests) he walked us to our table and pulled out our chairs to help us get seated. Then, the bets were placed. Mike bet 7:20 for the grandparents. 7:40 for the parents and 8:10 for the in-laws - all bets that have served him favorably on previous nights. But, as 7:20 came and went and the table sat empty, Roderick was serving us starters and feeling pretty confident. One point for Rederick, zero for Mike. Just as my watch showed 7:40 I let Mike know he was losing a second point, and who should show up but the grandparents and the parents.... point Mike. Roderick acknowledged that it was a one-one tie as he left to help them into their seats. They discussed the possiblity of a shoot-out or other tie breaking methodology. Of course by then, we were eating our entrees. Roederick came over to talk to Mike about dessert and Mike, who has a clear view to the doorway, told him he expected the in-laws within the next minute. Roderick was surprised that Mike could guess that accurately. Wise to Mike's tricks, I knew that meant they were coming in at that very second, and called the point a "cheat", which with a quick confirmation, broke us all up into fits of laughter. So, we ended tonight a tie, although Mike still feels that Roderick owes him four or five dessers. Hard to believe he could owe us more when he brings three or four a night.

So, as we left the dining room they placed their bets for tomorrow. They discusssed mitigating factors such as whether the clocks were going to be moved forward again as they have been for the past two days (definately makes it harder to get up for an early dinner when the clock lurches forward an hour at noon), whether tomrrow was a brunch day or breakfast day (brunch allowing you to skip one meal out of fourteen offered that day and increasing the liklihood that you might be hungry at 7:00 PM), etc. So, we have something to look forward to for tomorrow....will Mike win extra desserts for us or not!

BTW, the chocolate hazelnut torte, catalan brulee and sugarfree apple flan with a side of vanilla ice cream we had today were awesome. Go Mike, go!

Love you,
Deanne

Dancing under the Stars (and the dress code)

Just so that you don't think we only eat and sleep..... (I did read that smart a__ comment about bed sores) I will tell you about dancing under the stars. Yesterday was toga party night. You were supposed to wear a toga to dinner (as if I remembered to pack my toga or if I remembered, it would have priority in my suitcase over my spare pair of lederhosen). After dinner was a dancing party in which you could borrow a ship's toga to dance (even better, someone else's sweaty old toga). I am happy to report that even party loving Brazilians won't don a toga for a party, and all of us showed up in street clothes.

Speaking of clothes.... the Brazilians are our type of cruisers. We had our first formal night a few nights ago. Mike donned his kahkis, untucked shirt and jacket (along with his walking boots it forms the wardrobe combination we have termed his zippered pants look as opposed to the typical daily garb of athletic pants and shirts with tennis shoes that are comfortably zipper free) and I put on my one dress and we went to dinner. The women around the room were dressed to show... glitter everywhere. The men, however, were ranging from tuxes (only a couple) to suits (again only a couple) to zipper-free and everywhere in between. That made showing up for last night's "smart casual" meal in jeans much easier. We had lots of company.

After dinner we changed back into our zipper-frees and went dancing. The midnight buffet was served on the pool deck about three hours after our meal, so we took photos but didn't partake. These were my first trip photos (lazy me!) and I am going to try today to figure out how to upload them to Mike's computer- the only one we have with us for uploading to the blog.

The Brazilian dance band, playing a combination of old familiar songs and Brazilian songs that we had never heard previously was blasting away alongside the pool, so we "shake, shake, shaked our boodies" for an hour or so. Although the dance floor was crowded, we danced alongside folks we have met on the trip- Ralph and Faye from Cincinnati who we met at the Marriott in Sao Paulo, the Norwegian family that travel every year from Norway to Chile (for ten years) to visit the married child/sibling that lives there, this year traveling with a family gathering of 7. It was the first time I remember us staying up late enough to dance, but given the sleep in til 10:00, it is not out of line to stay up until midnight! We did have to sleep til 10:00 again this morning to recuperate for the late night, though. But who knows, maybe we can stay awake that late again tonight!

Love to all our adoring fans, (all three of you)
Deanne (and Mike)

Mid-Cruise Update

We are half way through the cruise. It is our third of six days doing the transatlantic portion of the cruise. If you can believe it, we slept ten hours last night instead of our now routine nine. What does that say about us aside from the fact that sleeping conditions (a cool room!!!, darkness of the deepest kind, a constant and consistent gentle rocking) are ideal?

When you have six days at sea, you see the pattern for entertainment after the second night. The first and second nights are acts that get on board at the last port before departing. The third night is the dance group that stays with the ship. Then the whole thing repeats. So, tonight will be dancers, followed by the wonderful pianst. The final night will be the Frank Sinatra wanta be that we had last night. He is British and speaks fluent Portuguese in what I assume is a humble way based on his gesturing. He would unleash a load of Portuguese then put a question mark at the end with his body as if to say, "Did I say it correctly?" Then the crowd would roar approval and he would bow. I can only assume I understood what he was saying, as the words were far above our limited language skills which include greetings and politenesses such as please and thank you. If you are fluent in Spanish you probably have an advantage with the Portuguese language which resembles a Spanish with hard edges. Buenos Dias, the greeting in Spanish becomes Bom Dia in Portuguese. Many of the Portugese say Bon Gia instead. I asked a bilingual passenger about the difference, and discovered that the Southerners and Northerners in Brazil have the same accent differences that we have North to South. I wonder if it is their Southerners marry their sisters too.

We have been reading like crazy. Mike brought a book about politics with him, "Game Change" about the 2008 preseidential election. He roared through it, loving the inside/backstories about the various characters. Now it is my turn... the politics skeptic. The two writers, one from Time Magazine and the other from New York Magazine covered the year leading up to the election then interviewed over 200 people to gain the insights for the book. Not very flattering pictures of either Elizabeth (crazy wacko) or John Edwards (philandering egomanic), confirmation of public images of Clinton (driven with poor people skills) and Obama (brilliant deep thinker family man) and more to come when I get to the McCain and Palin chapters. As I read it I can't help thinkiing it is like an in-depth People article about the players from the election.

Meals have started to slip. Two days in a row we have sat down at dinner, scanned the menu and wondered what we could want that would be good. Last night Mike tried some slow cooked beef shoulder in wine reduction which turned out to be a decent rare sliced roast beef. Not much of a pasta fan, I nevertheless ordered penne with shrimp and mussels (canned) as the least objectionable meal. Let's hope it improves.

I'll end now before I bore you to death. Love, Deanne

Settling in for the long haul

It is day 6 of the 14 day cruise and we are settling into a routine. We sleep in until 8:30 or so (eat your heart out fellow old people that have trouble sleeping), shower in our tiny stall and go off to breakfast. For variety we alternate between eating at a large table where we are waited on and sit with whoever turns up for the meal, with the more intimate table for two amidst the crowds of the buffet line. Each of course, has it virtues. You can choose between food that comes served on thousands of little plates with coffee poured for you as soon as you finish a sip but you take your chances with table mates. Today we had an English speaking table of three couples. With us in the middle, we conversed with an older couple of Norwegians who have lived all over the world and currently reside in Malmo, Sweden and a couple of middle-aged newlywed Canadians from Ontario. Chatty folks. We ended up shutting down the dining room and being asked politely to leave. Lucky for us, the Canadians were happy to continue the discussion outside the dining room until finally, after Mike feared that we had heard so much about her children and schools that we might be forced to talk about other compelling topics such as her garden or washing her car, he excused us. Yesterday we ate breakfast at the buffet, where you are able to select your own food including a custom made omelet, serve it up all on one plate, and sit at a table for two. Unfortunately sometimes the table has not been cleaned up after the previous tenants, but it is more intimate. I vaguely recollect days in which we had a tray to load up with food, but now it is a single plate. We probably are eating more appropriately for people now, whereas the tray did encourage eating appropriately for large mammals such as gorillas or elephants.

After breakfast we usually tuck away somewhere to read. Today we went to a deserted bar on the highest floor and sat facing the pool. From our high level perch we watched the bikini-clad women and speedo clad men compete in some contest which was narrated entirely inb Portuguese. Mike paid more attention than I did, periodically telling me the highlights such as, "the first team is completely finished with the race before the first woman on the other team even got in gear." Today I ventured out during reading time for a few laps of the track. After a mile and a quarter I was so hot (noon at the Equator is just not the time to walk!) I retreated back to the look-out perch to spy on the other sweaty people walking around the track in their bikinis.

After lunch (again involving the deicision: to buffet or not to buffet) it is laundry time. Mike has polished is ingenious skills at hanging a line for drying our clothes that meets multiple goals: 1) drying clothes don't drip on, or ruin carpets, 2) the lines don't risk our lives when we get up in the dark to use the bathroom, and 3) they don't jeopardize the goodwill of the cabin attendant who has to enter our quarters every day to make the bed and clean up after us. The fancy arrangement he has sorted out for us in this room has about six feet of line available in total, made up of a high and low line across the formica surfaced desk. Socks, the bane of in-room laundry because they can take days to dry, fit across the bottom line with shirts and pants on hangers hanging above them. Traveling cheaply isn't so bad....

Roderick, our dinner waiter takes good care of us when we show up for dinner. He has strong recommendations about the menu, providing subtle movements such as a pursing of his lips and a slight shake of his head when you start to order something he does not recommend. In this trial and error method, I am able to start with what I think I want, and end up with what Roderick thinks I will like. In this way, I have enjoyed the things he brings me, and wondered about the things I was dissuaded from ordering such as the crab cake which I thought I wanted until the pursed lips and quick intake of breath like a backward sigh assured me I didn't want to go near this "gluey in the center" attempt at crab cake. If you ignore the facial tics that signal a bad choice not all is lost. Roderick brings the substandard dish you ordered, but he accompanies it with a "better" dish. In this way, we have enjoyed a table for two with food for three. The third dish has allowed us to enjoy such things as cheesecake, ravioli, etc.

Entertainment begins at 9:30. Helvis has been the best act so far. Although not viewed as comedy, it would get my vote.

Tomorrow is Megan's and Dana's birthday. It is also Mike and Dana's anniversary. Furthermore, it is the day Megan and Matt move their family into their new home. Our love to you all. We are thinking of you. Mike and Dana will we "staycationing" in our Seattle house this week while Mike is off between quarters and Dana takes a reprieve from a very busy office. We hope they enjoy themselves.

Love, Deanne

Brazilain Skin Show

Well, one thing we can say after a week with a ship full of Brazilians. They aren't shy about a skin show! On our previous trip we saw several beautiful barely dressed Brazilian dancers that were part of the hoopla surrounding Carnivale. They met us at the dock where our ship came in, dancing in magnificent plumage on their heads, stilts on their legs to raise them up above crowd level and virtually nothing else but a skimpy bikini bottom. Even after spending a few days at famous Cocacobana Beach we still thought the carnivale girls were the exception to the rule. After all, regular Brazilians dress for work similarly, if not identically to people all over the world.

Vacationing Brazilians, however, don the skin like it is meant to show. No matter what age and what size the model, the skin is on parade on this ship. We cross the Equator tonight, so there is plenty of sunshine and heat still, perfect for laying out beside the pool in bikinis and speedos. I even saw one very nice looking young guy out today dressed in his Ralph Lauren boxers. It is a riot. These are not gorgeous Carnivale bodies. Many of these folks could be considered for modeling jobs on the ubiqitous e-mails showing off the beauty of Walmart shoppers. Large, wrinkly and hairy seem to be the universally applied adjectives for many, but not all of these folks. There are, of course, the beautiful. A sleek looking woman with long black hair and a skinny little body with a disporportionately sized front end (i.e. chest) sits at the dinner table next to us, providing Mike with lots of entertainment. Somehow it is much more interesting to watch her eat her dessert than it is anyone else in the dining room.

So, for those of us who gave up the idea of wearing a bikini to sunbathe in years ago, and certainly after the third time round at childbirth, or age 50, or skin cancer scares, or whatever rational criteria made you think conservatively about skin exposure, take heart.... there is a place for you to bare it all with complete confidence that you fit in perfectly!

Putting up with cute guys in boxers (somebody has to),
Deanne

At Sea for a Week

Well, last night we set sail for the "Old World". Six days at sea until we see Portugal. We left port in Salvador (a dirty, scary Brazilian city that I would not recommend to anyone) at 5:00 PM. It was warm and continues to be warm, although we expect it to get colder after we cross the Equator and draw closer to Europe. The young crowd aboard ship (limited in numbers) have to make themselves happy with sunning themselves at the pool, deck parties and loud contests like today's "Mr and Mrs Splendour" in which the winning couple does the fastest job of smashing a blown up ballon between their bellies as they hug. The rest of us jocky for spots out of the sun and noise where we can read our books, talk quietly to kindred souls and enjoy passing our time in the quiet pursuits the young find BORING.

We selected late dinner when we booked this trip but after receiving our confirmation and finding out that it begines at 10:00 PM, we reversed our decision and now eat at the 7:00 PM old people and kid seating. For the first time, we requested a table to ourselves which has turned out to be delightful. We have fine dining with all of the wait staff's attention that you would find in a world class restaraunt. Most nights the dinners are tremendous, although last night was an exception (Chicken madeira for me and Atlantic farmed salmon for Mike). Our filopino waiter, Roderick and his Brazilian side kick spent most of the first night hanging with us, because their other table was absent. It turns out that the Brazilians took several nights with lectures from the head waiters before they understood the concept of showing up at dinner at the prescribed reservation time. They just assumed they could come whenever the spirit moved them. Even after four nights they still wander in during the first hour of the meal, expecting to have their appetizers as the wait staff is cleaning up our entrees.

Our waiter rooms with one of the four head waiters that divide the dining room up. Roderick introduced us to Rolly, his filopino roommate on the second night and now he is a regular at our table. Our own head waiter, Marvin, a tall black man from Costa Rica looks as if approaching a table full of Brazilians is more than he can tackle, so he has adopted us. He comes and stands next to our table for at least two visits of ten minutes a night, and we crane our necks up to try and make eye contact with this gentle giant, and to try and read his lips as his quiet voice barely makes it to us over the din of dining Brazilians.

I think I have commented previously about the meals. We have enjoyed the dinners so much that we have taken to eating two meals a day...breakfast and dinner, with a snack of fresh fruit or beans and rice for lunch. We have been sleeping outrageously long hours for people who's day is taxed with only walking from lounge chair to breakfast, to coffee room, to library, to dining room. The dark interior cabin has been lit by only a tiny bit of light slipping in around the edges of the hall door and the blinking light of my toothbrush charger. Now we unplug the charger and we have total darkness. Enough to sleep nine or ten decadent hours a night. That means breakfast at a respectable 10:00, snack at 2:00 and dinner at 7:00. The late night entertainment, such as Helvis, starts at 9:30 and goes for an hour. Easy to make it to bed by 11:00 or 12:00 for another ten hours of sleep!

Sorry about the typos, but when you use google blogspot from a foreign country spell checker doesn't work, and you know how we all are in the post-spellchecker era.....we can's spell for beans!

Love you all,
Deanne

Apparently I understated the virtues of Helvis

In discussions with Mike last night, he says I did not appropriately detail the Helvis experience. For example, I missed:

• At one point in the production he turns his back to the audience and "shakes it". And shaking it was. That butt was jello. It made my cellulite hurt to watch his shake. Jello butt.
• As he ran up and down the stage steps to get into the audience, he huffed and puffed, which holding onto his microphone, was very dramatic. Think dying animal with a microphone and you would be close.

I hope that gives you a better idea of how great the Helvis act was!

Deanne

Visiting Brazilian cities

This ship has about 75% Brazilian passengers and crew. We english speakers are a minority. Here are some the differences we have noticed so far:

• The beef at dinner is outragously delicious! On our previous discount cruise we went transatlantic from the other direction. The cruise ship loaded up with European food at European prices. The beef, in particular is so amazing in South America, and the ship took advantage of this. Mike has been eating it every night after vegetarian lunches (fruit mostly) and last night I tried the sirloin which was wonderful.
• At every port we are warned about safety in the city. The Brazilians warn us, the crew warns us, etc. This matches our experience of Rio from a few years ago. We can't imagine why the Olympics were granted to Rio (although the Brazilians are so proud and excited) with the dangers lurking in the cities. Many of the passengers (us included) just viewed Rio from the deck of the ship.
• Brazilian people are wonderfully outgoing and friendly. Yesterday we particpated in a wine tasting class led by the ship's sommelier, a jolly, portly Indian named Joseph. There were a dozen participants (we counted multiple times waiting to hit the class minimum size of ten) of which only one other couple were native English speakers (UK accents). As the Indian did not speak the required Portuguese to address the largely Brazilian class, he utilized the services of a wildly enthusiastic Portuguese speaking man who told us all his life story in a mixture of Portuguese and English while he was trasnlating to the single class member who denied having English skills. Occasionally one of the other Brazilian class members who jump in to help him translate, although none of the others spoke English to us. The translater was charming in his enthusiasms, gesturing with hand signals and "okay, okay cool it" to the instructor when he needed the teacher to stop talking so that he could translate. Sometimes his translation would include an English language story not covered by the teacher, but added by the translater about his experience living in the wine country in South Africa, for example. Then he would catch himslef elaborating on the instruction (in English) and remind himself that he was supposed to translate, then switch to Brazilian and speak to the lone man needing translation. In the meantime, he would have been talking so much he would miss the pouring of the next wine and have to call over a waiter for the wine, who in embarrassment for missing him would pour a double dose, making our translater more distracted and talkative. It was worth the $10 admission to the class to watch him.

Helvis....rock star of the ages

Sorry about that last post.... we are having technical difficulties.

Last night we were treated to a Brazilian rock star... Helvis. Check him out at www.helvis.com.br This is an entertainer that has been doing Elvis imitations for twenty years. Like the real Elvis, he has been gaining a little weight over the years and he huffs and puffs a bit as he travels up and down the stairs into the audience and back on stage. His double knit jumpsuits, complete with cut outs for the bell bottoms and a cape are not to miss. As women in the audience went up to the edge of the stage for a Helvis kiss and scarf, Mike and I sat in our seats far removed from the stage and rolled in laughter. It really was a sight to see. He has a great voice, deep and passionate, complete with a Brazilain accident. When he broke into "A Breeedge over troubled water" (I always thought that was Simon and Garfunkle not Elvis), and the words and traveling ball appeared on the side screens, Mike and I were working hard not to laugh out loud. It is an entertaining cruise!

Love, Deanne

Sending Word From Splendour of the Seas

As we rode on the Cruise-line provided bus from the airport to the ship docked at the Santos port two hours away we recognized another Handron best practice for future bargain vacations. Mike, who is typically wiped out from lack of sleep after overnight flights, usually requires a day or two to relax and nap prior to moving on. In the heat, he has even less energy. By staying at an airport hotel we had a no-hassle trip from the airport to our resting place, a day or two to relax, then a non hassle trip back to the airport for cruise-line provided transportation to the ship. It worked perfectly with the exception of getting bumped off the airport shuttle by the flight attendants. Now that we are rested we realize we could take them next time, acing them out for the shuttle and making them wait for the next one.

Rested, Mellow and Ready to Roll

After a day of feeling tired and loggy yesterday, we had room service last night. Room service menus are pretty much the same world over, although traditional items such as club sandwiches always have their unique country touches such as avocado here which is on virtually every sandwich offering. Hambugers are offered only one way- weel done. Yes, that is truely what the note says: hamburgers are only served weel done. Yum. Our experience with steaks was so good in South America last trip that we opted for the filets in red wine sauce (gravy is what I'd call it...sure made Mike happy as he covered his bread in both of our sauces). That and a bottle of Brazilian Merlot made for a nice meal. We watched a little television- three stations with American tv (1- movies, 2- CNN world edition, 3- sitcoms) all with Portuguese subtitles. I can't understand why they would be interested in House, but they have it running. I can't tell whether the sarcasm comes through in the subtitles. It is hard to believe one of his nasty comments can translate into a 6 word subtitle. I read while Mike watched an old science fiction movie starring Clooney (never even heard of it at home).

Lights out at 10:00 and we were asleep before the arm that turned off the light was back in the sheets. Finally, eleven hours later we got up and took showers...adjusted to the time zone and recovered from the all night flying. And mellow enough that site seeing didn't sound that intriquing. We joined the other late breakfasters and muched down on more of that wonderful fruit. Summer time in the Southern Hemishpere... wonderful. That is when we decided to sit outside in the sun for several hours (under the shade of a patio umbrella). We saw giant dragonflies and swarms of swallows eating the little bugs. Such fun. Two Americans with iPods and books sitting by the pool....how prototypical!

Tomorrow we catch the shuttle back to the airport at 9:00 to meet the cruise line bus that will take us to the port for boarding our ship. Hopefully then we will have something less mundane to write about!

Love you (Susan) and if there is anyone else out there reading...you too!
Deanne

Sleepy in Brazil

We made it successfully to Sao Paulo. We are two hours ahead of Colorado time, three ahead of the Pacific Coast, so as I start this posting it is just past noon on Thursday here. We arrived on time at 7:45 am after nine hours of flight time from Dallas. Our flight started with a decent dinner of lasagna (me) and chicken (Mike) followed by lights out for the next severn hours. If we can't get side-by-side seats on a two person aisle, we always opt for aisle seats across an aisle from each other. That's what we had for this flight. Mike had the aisle seat on the two person side, while I had the aisle on the center, five person section. Lucky for me, there was only one other person in my 5 seat section. So, I spread out over three seats, lying in a crunched up manner while Mike had to sit up all the way beside a soundly sleeping young Brazilian man. After rolling around all night like a hot dog in a fast food restaurant, I consider myself fairly well rested and not too stiff. Mike, on the other hand, had no sleep. He watched Blind Side for the second time enjoying it just as much as when we saw it in the theater, then as he was more tired he watched that stupid Vince Vaughn movie about couples on vacation. His review: Don't even bother renting it. He said he didn't sleep at all, and if that wasn't bad enough, he had to shake me to wake me up for breakfast. Talk about rubbing it in that I had a decent sleep!

Imagine the worst baggage claim crowd you have ever encountered and you will be ready for the arrivals hall in Sao Paulo. Luggage carts are free, and everyone has one or two surrounding them as they crush to the luggage delivery belt. I am not sure why, but the American Airlines luggage allowance is universal for all countries except Brazil, where you are allowed up to 70 pound bags. We were all heaving these huge bags around. When you see your bag (yeah for those yellow bands we put around ours that make them stick out) you have to crush through the people and carts to grab it, then turn around and force your way back through the crowd that has swallowed up the path you created to make your way in to the belt. No complaints though, our bags were there just as they were supposed to be.

We made a strong impression on the beautiful Brazilian Federale that examined and stamped our passports as we went through immigration control. We demonstrated that not all Americans are rude, uni-ligual tourists by showcasing our command of the Portuguese language. "Bon Dia" got us a smile and a return "Bon dia" when we walked up to the counter. After our passports were stamped and we were ready to leave, "abrigado" the Portuguese word for "thank you" got a "You're welcome" in response. As Caitie told us when she first was learning Spanish in Spain, "when they answer you in English it is a sure sign that you are butchering their language". Oh well, we tried.

Becuase we anticipated correctly that Mike (who never sleeps on planes) would be tired after the flight, we booked a room at the airport Marriott, only a shuttle ride away from the airport. Like airports the world over, the shuttles all collect passengers somewhere along the driveways in front. We made our way outside, found someone to direct us to the hotel waiting area, and settled in to wait along with the crews from the United and American flights that arrived from the US at the same time. Fifteen minutes later, along came a small shuttle bus with the Marriott logo. I flagged it down and carried the first of our two big bags(so much for packing light) out to the shuttle steps. The non-English speaking driver kindly blocked my way into the shuttle. Figuring he was going to assist with my bags and I should therefore drop the heavy bag and return for another, that's what I did. Turns out that this shuttle was "reserved for flight crews" (I was told by a bilingual Portuguese United airlines flight attendant). He assured me that the driver was calling another shuttle for us which would pick us up momentarily. It took about twenty minutes more, but finally we had a private shuttle ride to our hotel.

All Marriotts looke remarkably similar and the Sao Paulo airport property is no exception. It sits near a highway exit (yes, we can sure hear that traffic) in the airport suburb. A breakfast buffet is included in our fare, so we had lots of fresh fruit and buffet bacon and eggs. The pineapple was wonderful as was the deep orange colored papaya. Good enough that I look forward to tomorrow's breakfast. The highlight of breakfast was the recommendation (by the very same flight attendant that denied us access to the first shuttle bus) for which of the six juices to try.... coconut water which pours from the coconut when it is opened. I love anything coconut, and this water was very refreshing.

We feel fortunate that the heat spell in Brazil at Carnivale time last month that killed many people seems to have been replaced with mild fall weather. It is a bit humid here, which accounts for the gorgeous greenery and my exceptionally frizzy hair, but it isn't hot today.

If we are properly rested up tomorrow we will head out to see the city and tell you all about it. If it is a sleepless night, expect to hear about our experiences reading and washing our laundry.

Until then, ciao!
Deanne

On the Road Again!

We are sitting in the Sleep Inn in Albuquerque watching television and catching up on our computer work...an auspicious start to our trip. This is a discount trip.... a $500 cruise, frequent-flier airfare, etc. and this little $49 hotel fits the bill. Our Colorado neighbor recommended this place, because in addition to the spiffy room, free Internet and hot breakfast, we can park in their lot for the month we are gone for $2 a day. A bargain.

The most expensive aspect of today was the speeding ticket Mike received after the county sheriff going the other direction on the highway did a u-turn to chase us down. Crime: traveling at 83 mph in a 70 zone. Thankfully New Mexico doesn't charge big city rates and this infraction only set us back $65.

We left our Colorado home this morning at 10:30, after completing our packing, loading the car, sweeping the house, cleaning the frig and throwing out everything that wouldn't survive five weeks of absence, paying the final bills and all of those finalities. I maintain a checklist of things that we have to do when we move from one house to the other (forward/stop/hold mail, stop newspapers and garbage delivery, change netlfix delivery, change the phone so that it knows where we are, etc.) We got birthday cards in the mail for our daughter and daughter-in-law who share a March birthday and my mother who celebrates her birthday on Easter this year. We stopped at the post office to mail a big box of library books back to Seattle. They traveled with us to Colorado a few weeks ago and now it is time for them to return home.

Breakfast was out of the question with all the running around we were doing this morning, so on our way we stopped for lunch at our favorite Durango restaurant- Kennebek's. Mike had his usual: Beef Bourgnone and I had the soup of the day- seafood (yum!!) and a salad. A wonderful start for the trip.

Tomorrow we catch a shuttle to the airport at noon. We're on the move!

With love, Deanne